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His hard-knocks childhood, his high-paying job, his Caribbean sailboat, that was all fake. But multiple Canadian women say what he took from them is very, very real—and they want vengeance. By Courtney Shea Updated January 17, Like most middle-aged women dipping a toe back into the dating sceneJodi got on Tinder because her friend convinced her to.
They were hanging out, drinking wine. Having recently gotten out of a difficult marriage, she was in the process of moving on with her life—she had bought a new house and lost victoria usa scams dating bunch of weight. The first guy she met was nice, if not exactly her dream man, and things petered out after a couple dates. She was sitting in her home office in West Kelowna, B. They met at Starbucks that afternoon and engaged in the typical first date chit-chat.
She talked about her career, her dog.
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Andy told her that he was moving back home to Canada after having spent the last decade in Vietnam. He was an engineer on offshore oil rigs and had apparently done well for himself. Now he wanted to slow down, do some travelling, enjoy this stage of life with someone who wanted the same things. He was figuring out where he wanted to settle down and buy a house, which is why he was in Kelowna.
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He told her his name was actually Andre; Jodi started calling him Dre. Their second date was a movie the very next day. On date three, he came to her place for dinner and they talked for hours about their similar life experiences. He had also gotten out of a troubled marriage, and had grown up with parents who were addicts.
They discovered they both hated seafood and loved Mexican. He showed her photos of his fancy condo in Vietnam and his KTM motorcycle. That night, sitting together in her living room, Dre told Jodi he was falling for her. Big time. The first time he went to hold her hand, she was caught off guard, and when she explained that her ex had never done so, he said—wait for it—that he would never let hers go.
He met her victoria usa scams dating and some of her friends and everyone thought he was wonderful.
victoria usa scams dating One of her closest friends has a daughter on the autism spectrum who is generally non-communicative, but Dre was able to bring her out of her shell. They started to plan their life together. Dre would have to go back to Vietnam to get his money, much of which, he explained, was in gold bars. They would go together, he said—sort of like a honeymoon.
First, though, he was going to take a job delivering water to oil rigs in Edmonton. It would just be a few weeks, and the money was great, he told Jodi. A single gold bar was worth three times that much, and he had dozens.
And at the time, she believed him. Romance scams are on the rise. If you happen to be a single woman over 40 with a social media or dating profileyou probably know that already. Recently I was chatting with a friend who fits that description; she told me that weeding out scammers is just another reality of dating these days, right up there with fielding dick pics. Of course, con men and women have been faking love for financial gain for centuries.
In reality, this is not the case, says Monica Whitty, a psychologist at the University of Melbourne, who has published papers on victoria usa scams dating scams and cyber security. Under the right circumstances, almost anyone can fall prey to romance fraud, but the most common victims are well-educated women in their late 40s, 50s and 60s.
They tend to be trustworthy, prone to impulsivity, community-minded and, yes, romantic.
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Consider the hugely popular Dirty John podcast and follow-up TV seriesa true story that brought a lot of attention to this type of crime in and The victim was the founder of a successful interior de firm. She was close with her daughters until her scammer, John Meehan, took steps to isolate her.
The technique—flooding a person with affection and attention to fast-track intimacy and build dependence—is also used in cult recruitment strategies.
This is the other way that social media has changed the romance scam racket. Jodi and Dre had been dating for a month when he left to take the job in Edmonton. He told her he would miss her every moment he was gone. Looking back, Jodi believes this was just another layer of manipulation.
Dre came back and planted himself on her couch.
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Everything would be fine with the job, he assured her. He had subcontracted the first part to one of his guys, and was still earning a cut. When he returned to Edmonton about a week later, he was in touch constantly, inundating Jodi with ed copies of invoices and time sheets and getting her to input the information into an Excel document. Which is victoria usa scams dating what these guys do, says Whitty. Shortly before Jodi was expecting Dre back in Kelowna, he called to say he was in trouble over unpaid back taxes.
There was one possible solution, he said—not immediately, and almost like it had just occurred to him. Maybe he could have his employer make the cheque out to Jodi, and they could deposit it into her instead. It was the Easter long weekend, and that same afternoon, Jodi was flying to Vegas for a wedding.
For three days, she spent time with old friends and family, danced and got tipsy. And, of course, she told everyone about her new boyfriend, who was taking her on a trip to Vietnam in two weeks. She had already booked the time off work. After she got home, she drove to the grocery store.
Dre would be back in a few hours, and she wanted to have dinner ready. At the checkout, her debit card was declined. She called a friend who agreed to send her some money. While Jodi waited, she started connecting the dots.
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And her stomach started to sink. When she got home, she sat down at the computer and brought up her banking information, which confirmed what she already suspected. Her dream man was a con man. And he was gone. On the same Easter weekend that Jodi was in Vegas, Rosey who asked that we use victoria usa scams dating pseudonym for safety reasons was boarding a train in Vancouver. He was confident and gregarious—he talked about working on oil rigs in Asia, and how he had made a fortune on some well-timed real estate investments.
Now, he wanted to enjoy life. The group hung out a lot during the four-day train ride, and when they got off in Toronto everyone exchanged s and phone s. Rosey was visiting family who lived in southern Ontario.
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The next day she got a text from Andre. He was just a short drive away, he said, as if the whole thing was a happy coincidence—maybe they should get together for a coffee? They met at a Starbucks in the lobby of the Sheraton where he said he was staying.
Rosey was going through a rough patch in her marriage at the time.
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She was also in the middle of a career change and had travelled to Ontario to visit her aunt and uncle after her cousin had died tragically. Andre had his own sob story about how his parents were addicts, how he lived on his own as a teenager.
Later, as he was getting out of her car, he started slapping at his pockets. His ID, credit cards and thousands in cash were gone, he said. This was a big problem, because the rest of his money was in Vietnam.
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He would have to cancel his cards, file a report with the police and figure out where he was going to stay for the night. Over the next few days, Andre made a big production of talking on victoria usa scams dating phone with the police. He said he would have to go back to Toronto to sort things out with his bank; Rosey lent him money for the bus. Andre called shortly after and she told him about her winnings. He was calling, he said, because he had decided to come back to see her. He told her that he had never met anyone like her before.
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He loved the way her mind worked. He victoria usa scams dating that she was going through a tough time, but what if he could make her troubles disappear? He offered to pay off her half of the mortgage so that they could get away.
He had a boat that was just sitting in the Caribbean. She could work from her laptop while they lived like one of those couples in a Freedom 55 commercial. As they toasted her windfall, Rosey allowed herself to imagine the life Andre was describing—even if she was the one paying for their drinks. Rosey and Andre spent three days and two nights together in southern Ontario, all on her dime.
When she returned to B. He would come to see her soon, but first he needed to fly to Singapore to meet with his ant and then to Vietnam to get his gold. She wired him funds to pay for his travel visa.