Did you know that dating has 5 different stages? But for now, we will focus on the turbulent uncertainty stage, which seems to drive some people so crazy. Just for the record, the other stages are attraction, exclusivity, intimacy, and commitment.
How to get through the uncertainty stage of dating
Ever been in that beginning phase of a blooming relationship and started obsessing about the outcome? Jack and I had dated for about six months before I started to feel like things between us were seriously cooling off.
In the beginning, things had been pretty hot and heavy, with what felt like a fiery mutual interest between us. I began acting cold and aloof. I stopped calling and sending cute text messages.
I stopped all girlfriend-type behaviors entirely. I withdrew and threw myself into some long-neglected hobbies. Not surprisingly, one rainy Thursday afternoon Jack asked that we meet for coffee. When I showed up and saw him, I thought I uncertainty stage dating exactly what he was going to say, before he even opened his mouth. Regardless of what I was expecting, I tried to politely listen to his breakup speech. I started to wonder if I should even bother, after all, he had seemed so cold lately.
The power of uncertainty
It must have been ridiculously obvious that I was planning for the end. As the tears welled up in my eyes, I began to feel as though I was drowning in a flood of guilt and remorse. I struggled for something else to say. But hear me out. The reason why I determined that the relationship was failing was because I was unable to uncertainty stage dating the uncertainty between Jack and I. Instead of expecting good things between us while taking a wait and see approach, I created my own meaning certain doom for our relationship for the uncertainty between us.
By doing this, I had created a self-fulfilling prophecy. I WAS aloof.
Share your fears
I had shut down entirely once I felt uncertain about what was happening between us. Thou shalt not decide preemptively that things are going badly without actual evidence. The downward spiral that can result is intense.
These words are for us all. Beyond Worthyby Jacqueline Whitney.
You may unsubscribe at any time. Once month seven hit, the bottom dropped out.
What he said next, frankly shocked me. He walked out and that was it. The relationship had fallen victim to: Poor Uncertainty Handling Issues boring term made up by yours truly. The truth is, I HAD been cold.
That takes us to the main point. This post originally appeared at Attract The One. More From Thought Catalog.
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