If a man wishes for a healthy relationship with intimacy, with authority or simply a better relationship with himself, the journey may need to start with the hidden dynamics held in the system between him and his mother. Mother is in her place, exactly as she is or was and her son is in his.
If your mom has been used to being your chaperone, letting you drive off alone with a guy you are dating may be difficult for her.
While it may seem like your mom is being old-fashioned, she does have reasons to worry about your safety and health. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, to year-olds have the greatest risk of being in a car crash.
Also, this is around the age that many teens start having sexual relationships. The Guttmacher Institute reports 48 percent of year-olds have had sex, according to findings at the time of publication. Talk to your mom about her concerns.
Your conversation will go better if you avoid raising your voice or allowing the talk to escalate into an argument. Your goal should be to learn exactly why she doesn't want you to be out with your boyfriend in his car.
But push yourself a little
Show your maturity by being respectful and listening to her. Give your mom information about your boyfriend's driving record if she is concerned about your safety. Let her know how long he has been driving. Tell her if he is accident-free or has never received a traffic violation.
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If he has made some driving mistakes, let her know what he learned and what he is doing differently now. If she is still not convinced, offer to only go short distances with him until she is more confident in his driving ability. Share your feelings about sex with your mom if she is worried your relationship could get more physical while alone in his car. Be honest with her and let her know your reasons if you plan to wait until you are older to have sex.
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Tell her how you plan to handle the situation if your boyfriend ever pressures you to go further than you are ready for. Let your mom get to know your boyfriend better if she is worried about how he treats you. If your mom has witnessed fighting or verbal abuse, she may be afraid the behavior would escalate if you were alone in a car. If you and your boyfriend have a good relationship, letting your mom see how well you get along may ease her fears.
How a man treats his mother says a lot about him. here are six examples of mother-son relationship dynamics and their related insights.
See if your mom will feel more comfortable if you go out with another couple or a group. If a few group dates go well, she may be OK with it being just you and your boyfriend in the future. Let your mom know exactly where you are going and check in with her while you are out.
Your mom will worry less if you let her know what's going on while you and your boyfriend are together. If you have any delays due to traffic or car problems, send your mom a text or call her so she won't stress. Sharon O'Neil has been writing professionally since She has worked in international business and is a d customs broker. She is currently a supervisor with a social service agency that works with families to prevent child abuse and neglect.
She obtained a Bachelor of Science in business from Indiana University. Regardless of how old we are, we never stop learning.
Classroom is the educational resource for people of all ages. Based on the Word Net lexical database for the English Language. See disclaimer.
If she finds out, she will lose trust in you and probably become more strict. If she still refuses to let you date him, give it some time before bringing up the topic again.
About the Author Sharon O'Neil has been writing professionally since Related Articles.