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You should have the mindset, from the very first date, to be yourself. Why put yourself through all that? This is a prerequisite for my clients before the first introduction. Be clear and honest when you answer the self-reflective questions, like What is my purpose? What are my strengths? This is the kind of stuff that yields engaging conversations, draws you in to each other, and creates a foundation for a longer relationship.

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1. date outside your “type"

Have a spiel… have more than one if you need. Be open to the other person having or building a spiel too!


My second spiel is about how people are attracted to what they project onto others. The more attractive you find yourself, the more attracted people will be to you. Put some energy into growing those things, and watch the babes swarm to you like flies to honey. Humans are complicated!


Desire is such a tangle! Real intimacy requires conflict. Same sex dating tips is less dating and more relationships, but I remember reading somewhere that all of the anxieties, fears, hopes, and contradictions that you have swirling around inside of you are also going on with the other person. Never stop going on dates.

Going on romantic dates with your partner it can be anything, but it should be planned ahead, thoughtful, just like the dates you plan early in a relationship is not going to magically take you back to that time, but it will still tap into some of those feelings of falling in love.

Tips for successful same-sex dating

And it also doubles as a way to identify problems within a relationship. If you find yourself not wanting to spend one-on-one time with a partner or not wanting to go on dates with them anymore, what does that mean? Having this approach to a long term relationship can help you figure out when something is off.


Maintain your identity outside of your relationship. Resist the urge to curate the easiest version of yourself early on — the longer you let that curated version of yourself stand in, the harder it will get to be more authentic. If the Messy TM version of yourself makes someone run, good!

Better for you that they do it now, same sex dating tips you know. Fall for the person, not the fantasy. As fun as it might be to U-Haul it with someone, ask yourself: does this feel right? Do you really want this person, or do you want a picturesque lesbian love story? If it does feel right: great! Go ahead and move your cats into their apartment, share your Netflix password with them, start a garden together, whatever.

Sure, it might be short-lived or it might even end in heartbreak, but I rarely ever regret relationships that formed organically and with genuine passion.

Here’s some dating advice that’s actually helpful.

What if you are hesitating? Let it happen naturally. I did far more damage to myself in the years that I attempted to avoid honesty and vulnerability while dating than offering that openness has ever caused. Learning that I deserve to feel safe being my whole self while dating really changed things for me in the best way. This sounds really easy but it can be really hard for some people — be transparent and autonomous about everything from the start. You have to be open if you want someone to really get to know same sex dating tips you are and accept you for exactly that and to help you grow — and vice versa.


Honestly, maybe it is! But I will say that I am always able to see clearly when a friend is doing something detrimental to their own wellbeing in a relationship, and how they should be setting boundaries in order to take care of themselves.


One thing that works really well for me personally is to start from a place of understanding that there are no guarantees in life, and that includes in love. You might get one really fun night with a person or you might get a lifetime, and every individual connection brings its own joys and lessons. When I can get into this hepace it allows me to appreciate things in the moment more, and not feel the pressures of over-attachment or expectations, which generally ends up same sex dating tips things easier and more fun for all involved.

Judge the situation and not the person. This might sound weird, but:Be nice.

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This is the person you supposedly love or have at least friendly feelings for, someone you have established some sort of trusting connection with. This sounds really weird, but a lot of people are not nice to one another in a relationship.


Basic human respect and decent treatment is something the person in your life deserves. You do,too.

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Not weird at all! And maybe the 1 most important thing! Thank you all! Honestly I think most of that advice applies to ANY relationship so that covers not seeing your relatives at holiday time or any damn time if you dont wanna, come to that.

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WOW this is good. So many gems here. Thanks, wise people. Reply to This Comment. Completely agree! Ask yourself: Do you like the person you become in the relationship? Fall in love with a not your therapist. Honestly I think most of that advice applies to ANY relationship so that covers not seeing your relatives at holiday time or any damn time if you dont wanna, come to that Loading Contribute to the conversation Cancel reply Yay!

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