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It would be good if dating apps used twitter instead of Facebook. When someone you're dating is a randomer who you have no connection to, they could be anyone. Skip !

About me

I went on my last first date just over six years ago.

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But however happy that ending was, it left me woefully unprepared for the world of friendship dating. I started dating my partner right as they were becoming popular, so I missed the wave. But when I found myself living at home in my childhood town, with all my old friends grown up and moved on, I needed to find new friends fast.

So I downloaded Bumble, made a profile, and got to swiping. This is what I learned about online dating friend friends on a dating app. You better have something interesting to say. Not the most promising start to a relationship.

Swiping for friends: why managing others' dating apps is so damn fun

Honestly, I got weird on my bio. I wrote that I was an enthusiastic but unskilled dancer. I confessed to being an unironic lover of cheesy Hallmark movies. And when I saw other people said they had fun interests?

How to make friends on dating apps

Include at least one kind of off-beat activity. Do you like cross-stitching? Include it. A weird TV show only you know about?

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Put it in. Growing a mushroom farm?


Tell me about it. This was the scariest thing about online friend-dating for me. So many times, I made a match but nobody messaged first, or the conversation fizzled out, or I sent an initial opener to the deadly sound of digital crickets.


And it sucks to not feel wanted by people even in a platonic way. Chemistry and timing matter more than you think.


Having people you can just talk to, be with, spend time with — whatever makes personalities click for love matters for friendship, too. Timing is also a super important component. This is important, but when it comes to online friend dating, short-term timing is more important. You both have to be in the right mood at the right time, saying the right things in the right way.


You have to notice the notification, log into an app, and keep a sustained, interesting conversation going over a longer time. Unlike making friends organically, where it can sometimes feel less pressured to make a move, online friend-finding is necessarily targetted. One message? Right away? In a week?

When are you and the other person mutually ready to online dating friend up the acquaintanceship? It might not come up naturally — you might have to force it. And that feels uncomfortable. My advice? Give it ten messages.

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Ten messages is ample opportunity for the other person to drop off, or show you how much they like you. Longer than that and you risk procrastinating the decision forever. Shorter, and you run the danger of putting the other person off.


In ten messages, you should know if this is a person you want to be friends with. Let them know you might not be in the right hepace right now. O nline dating is hard. You have to be ready to make yourself vulnerable, to put yourself out there, to admit you need artificial methods to find friends.

Things are different, like it or not. Unfair online dating friend it may be, people will judge you based on your bio.

“ just looking for friends” on a dating app isn’t a thing. stop it.

And the ultimate prize of meeting up with your new friend? Learn the rules and go make friends. Biology MSc. Psychology nerd.


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