Downloading a dating app is the easy part. But toughest of all? Coming up with that first perfectly witty message the minute you match with someone decent. These days, now that women have seen and heard it all on dating apps, making a lasting first impression seems freaking impossible. So we asked 20 real women to divulge the perfect one-liners, questions, and messages they wish men would send on mobile apps or dating sites.
Here's how to do it.
Girls love when you ask us questions. But it can also be more complicated than that.
How to write a great first message
Online dating is a little like gaming. Writing a message and getting a girl to reply is the final battle with the boss.
We want you to win the battle. Unfortunately, many guys try to message a bunch of girls, instead of just the ones who are the best matches. Girls see through this.
The best opening lines for online dating
We get so many of those lazy mass-messages that we just ignore them. Look for girls with common interests, shared beliefs, and similar goals. Those girls are much more likely to respond to you because you are a good fit.
And a girl like that will appreciate that you took the time to read her profile, notice what you have in common, and ask her questions about those things, creating a solid connection. Girls are tired of getting messages from guys who compliment our looks, but have nothing to say about the rest of our profiles.
Those messages are shallow and meaningless — the online equivalent of getting dry-humped by douche bags in a club. This is excellent because Miles:.
How are you? I never reply to these messages because they bug the shit out of me. A great first message jumps past pointless questions and right into specific questions.
For example: say you and a girl are both snowboarders. To achieve this, you have to ask her questions. The questions are the gas.
As a rule of thumb, ask one or two questions. Some guys make the mistake of firing off a long list of questions about a whole range of topics. This is overwhelming to girls. This is simple and effective. It works because Scott picked something from my profile that he was truly curious about, explained why he was curious, and therefore established a common interest in cooking. Worked on me.
Your first message should make a simple introduction, express your interest in her profile, ask one or two long-game questions about things you share in common, and then simply -off with your name. A couple lines, or a paragraph or two is great.
When guys write a lot more, they come on too strong. Leave us wanting more. With your first message, your online dating best opening message is to make us want to continue talking to you.
15 opening lines that will get a response on your dating apps
Look for spelling and grammatical errors these are deal-breakers to some girls. Smart online dating tips for men. These are the online dating messages that get more replies from women, the profile pictures that increase your odds of meeting more women off-line, and the best ways to get a woman's attention in online dating.
If you're one of the good guys, you deserve an edge. MenAskEm Helping good guys get the girl.
The 7 best opening lines for online dating
How to Write a Great First Message. Question of the Week. Hey Em, You said there are two things that make a good first message: noticing what I have in common with a girl, then starting a conversation about it. Great question, Tony!
32 best opening lines for online dating sites and apps
The key — and the best way to start a conversation — is to ask a question. But you also have one big advantage. Focus on quality, not quantity. Compliment common interests and personality — not looks. Like this first message example:. This is a great message for three reasons: 1 Miles le with a compliment to my personality, rather than my face. Start a conversation. Keep it simple. This guy does a nice job asking an easy question based on stuff we both like:.
Keep it short. Re-read what you wrote. And send. Practical Happiness. Address. Up. Thank you! All I can say is wow! You saved my dating future! I basically got a date with every girl that responded.
We asked 20 women: what’s your idea of the perfect first message on a dating app?
Now I'm dating a great girl and have closed my Match. I just trusted your advice and did what you recommended. It absolutely worked! Thank you for the great service you provide.
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It was hard to write about myself. Now my profile really tells an accurate and compelling story about me. This eBook was the only one that sounded high-quality enough to be worth money. I used it to seriously change my profile. This weekend, I met a girl via Match.