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Sheikha Steffen is used to the whispers and stares. She's a Middle Eastern woman who wears a head scarf and covers her body, and her husband is a blond-haired white man with blue eyes. Though Sheikha lives in Norway, her experience isn't unique to where she lives. Here in the U. She says that bias and discrimination towards interracial couples is definitely a thing, but that the reasons behind it are complicated.

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To say that America is very touchy about race is an understatement. Although it has no biological ificance, race remains a powerful social construct that Americans are woefully unprepared to discuss. Best case scenario, you have a healthy, earnest, cultural exchange that leaves both parties more enlightened. The stakes are high. How can we find common ground? This is an article about navigating interracial relationships in a racist society.

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Heterosexism and transphobia present additional obstacles for people in queer relationships who date outside of their race. So, we spoke with a variety of couples to get an overdue lesson on how to make several kinds of interracial relationships work. The complexities of gender, race, and sexuality extend beyond the scope of this article. Nevertheless, these tips offer a starting point to learn about leveraging human differences for good.

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Several of his exes were South Asian. Managing stereotypes when dating outside of your race is tricky. If someone is fixating on one aspect of your identity, you are probably being racially fetishized. Victor viewed them holistically, not in a way that reaffirmed racialized assumptions about East Asians. Such assumptions are usually rooted in colonialism and attempt to justify the mistreatment of non-white people.

However, white people can be fetishized too—albeit, not in the same way as people of color. Nevertheless, fetishizing white women to espouse anti-Blackness does not serve Cleaver as a Black man. To have a healthy interracial relationship, your dating preferences should not be supported by self-hate or fetishism. By having the tough discussions early, Elise and Chuck quickly determined whether they respected one another.

People dating outside mixed relationships dating their race may not have that luxury.


Elise and Chuck have been teased about their relationship. To truly support someone, you must see their humanity. Unfortunately, we are all being socialized into a deeply flawed society whose institutions withhold human rights on the basis of mixed relationships dating, age, gender, race, class, sexuality, and other factors. Once Elise knew that Chuck saw her as his equal, it was smooth sailing. Granted, these two are not strangers to intellectual debate.

Elise studied Anthropology and Chuck is pursuing a degree in Political Science. Finding common ground is simple when nobody is being attacked. Establish mutual respect early on by talking about the important stuff.


Blayr was raised in a sheltered, military family as the daughter of a colonel. Despite their backgrounds, one habit made all the difference in the world. After retiring his ego, Kai-Dee became a better person. He was the mixed relationships dating trans person Blayr had ever dated. She was emotionally overwhelmed when Kai-Dee told her that he was trans.

Rather than expecting Kai-Dee to shoulder the burden of explaining himself to her, Blayr researched independently. By being honest about her feelings, Blayr was able to address her insecurities and learn to be a better partner.


You will make mistakes. When your partner holds you able for racist, sexist, or transphobic behavior, do not play the victim. They both have immigrant backgrounds. Challenging microaggressions in public as they happen is key. While callout culture can be toxic, silence will not protect your partner.

2. explore your partner's culture.

As such, shame can be a useful tool when challenging prejudice within families. Still, Dandelion wishes their family extended the same warmth to Ben. Despite how that racism and transphobia shapes mixed relationships dating lives, Dandelion and Ben stressed staying true to yourself.

Likewise, Ben will not allow people to misgender him. They are planning a wedding that will showcase the best of both of their cultures. Whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder was definitely talking about Lorenzo and Dohyun.

1. the foundation of your relationship has to be rock solid.

Dohyun has ly dated other people, two of whom were outside his race. Lorenzo, on mixed relationships dating other hand, doesn't have as much relationship experience. Lorenzo said Dohyun's honesty has made a world of difference. His dad is homophobic. To have successful interracial relationships, you must be open to new challenges and experiences.

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1. your interracial relationship is very likely to involve two different value systems.

Courtesy of E and Victor. Courtesy of Elisa and Chuck. Related Stories. Courtesy of Kai-De and Blayr. Courtesy of Dandy and Ben. Courtesy of Lorenzo and Dohyun.


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