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Not shy? Find yourself here by mistake? Perhaps you'd like our roundup of the best hookup sites instead. You can now scan for a potential mate without ever leaving the comfort zone that is your couch. Of course, eventually you'll need to get up and actually go on a date. But hey, it's better than trying to find a single cutie in the dive bar crowd or approaching a random person in a coffee shop.

About me

So you're not a "10" in every which way. But you're probably pretty spectacular in some way, and definitely good enough in most areas of life.

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If ever there were a time to stop beating yourself up for being human, it is now. Verified by Psychology Today. The Introvert's Corner. Well, yes. It does seem that way.

I’m listening, don’t look at me: the grumpy introvert’s advice on privacy and dating

But is it really? We probably all know people who made a serious connection--perhaps even met their spouse--through the Internet, either on an online dating site, or on Facebook, or through other online communities.

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There's a lot to be said introverts and online dating the combination of introverts and the Internet for making love connections. First of all, it's the only way that love might find you in your living room. You don't even have to leave the house at first. Second, introverts tend to be comfortable with, and good at, expressing ourselves in writing. Third, communicating online first, before meeting, can be an easy way through all the awkward preliminary chitchat.

Doug and his now-wife learned even more about each other reading each other's blogs. Of course, like anything else, there are ways and ways to go about online dating.

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So let's talk a little about using online dating sites like Match or eHarmony. For one thing, it helps to know what you're looking for. That's not to say you introverts and online dating a stringent and inflexible list of must-haves, but go into it with at least a rough idea so that you're not succumbing to what online dating coach Kimberly Dawn Neumann calls "supermarket syndrome"—filling your cart with everyone who seems even slightly plausible, until you become overwhelmed. And stipulate for yourself a certain of hours a week that you will spend on reviewing profiles and responding to s, so that it doesn't become yet another job on your to-do list.

You want to make sure your profile accurately represents you.

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No lying! Maybe, maybe you can fudge your age a little bit to turn up in a different search bracket, Kimberly says, but you have to 'fess up in the first. You can tell yourself the other person will get over your lie once they get to know the wonderfulness that is you, but they won't.

Mostly they'll start off not trusting you right off the bat. And be sure to feature some of your charming idiosyncrasies in your profile—your unusual hobbies and particular passions.

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Yeah, yeah, romantic dinners and travel. Who doesn't like those things? But you don't want to blend into the crowd, so be sure to mention your pet ferret or competitive fencing medals or lifelong desire to walk across Siberia. Rebecca, an introvert who met her introverted husband online, was drawn again and again to his profile photo of himself hugging a horse.

Look out for like-minded souls

An animal lover herself, she recognized a kindred spirit. She also liked that he was articulate, witty, could spell, and paid attention to what she said in her s, all indicating he was the kind of man she had in mind. You can be upfront with your introversion —if the more isn't the merrier for you, you might as well say so.

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At the same time, you probably shouldn't be responding to people whose profiles are full of party pics. Some introverts are particularly attracted to extroverts and that's fine, but if partying is such a big part of a person's life that they use it to represent themselves, then the prognosis for an introvert's relationship with that person is not good. And a particular caveat for introverts: If you think you're starting to click with someone, don't let the ing drag on and introverts and online dating, no matter how much you enjoy it. And, finally, be patient. You might have to meet a dozen or more people before you would even consider a second date with someone.

About the author

Which is not to say you'll meet a lot of people you won't like at all—Elizabeth made a bunch of new friends during her online dating adventures. And that's how you want to approach it: As an adventure.

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And it's not, as one introvert suggested to me, a of desperation. Desperation is sitting at home bemoaning your solitary state. Getting online and seeing who's out there is determination. Also, c'mon and me and a bunch of other introverts on FacebookK?

Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. You Are Good Enough So you're not a "10" in every which way.

Using a dating site

Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. Sophia Dembling The Introvert's Corner. About the Author. Read Next.

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The Telephone Choke. Do Grammar Mistakes Annoy You? You Might Be an Introvert. How to Get Along With an Introvert. Introversion Essential Re. Are You Lonely… or Alonely? Get Listed Today.

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