Here at EliteSingles, our mission is to help you find people with whom you share a deeper connection. But what if you already have that special someone in your life? Dating your best friend can turn your most ificant friendship into something really special.
Jake name changed to protect the heartbroken was one of my first friends in college—a tall, charming boy-down-the-hall, with a floppy haircut and a definite eye-twinkle.
Cue a relationship rapidly switching sides—always together, but never together. We went to dinners, held hands, and watched movies.
Does my best friend like or love me? s to know
It was an uncomfortable security, which we both knew would inevitably change. Dating your best friend is a major risk, but holds the promise of amazing rewards. These are some of the things I wish I knew before I took that leap:. Easy flowing conversation? Of course. Inside jokes? Built in. Endless fun times to be had? Dating your best friend is like pressing the fast-forward button on all of the getting-to-know-you awkwardness of the first handful of dates.
You know each other better than anyone—this includes the good and the bad—and have already decided that you accept each other, as is. You tell your best friend everything, including relationship drama.
This changes when your best friend is your partner. Timing was never our strong suit. I had a boyfriend, then he had a girlfriend. But for a brief semester, both single and realizing what we had been looking for all along was right in front of us, we made it official. And it was great for a while. Jake, the person I would normally discuss this confusing situation with, was now invested in our situation.
Not wanting to hurt him, I kept my conflict inside until it imploded into a hazy mess. Even though our romantic relationship mutually fizzled, our friendship dynamic never truly recovered. Our hangouts grew more infrequent, but picked up like they had never left off. We continued on with our individual dating lives, but always wound up back in the murky in-between. We graduated, moved away to different cities, and desperately tried to keep our friendship afloat.
I called him when I got my job; I called him when my boyfriend broke up with me and moved out of town; I called him when I hated my job. He would update me on graduate school, how happy he was to be back in his hometown, and his government job that he was enjoying. Then, I went to visit him. When I arrived, after months of planning this long-weekend trip, I knew something was up.
There was a new girl in the picture, and she did not care for me. Maybe she knew the backstory, maybe she felt the tension.
7 things to know before you start dating a friend
What I do know is that a day into my visit, I was treated like a burden. Plans were cancelled, and I was pawned off on a mutual friend who lived a few blocks away. The last time I ever saw Jake was when he put me into a cab for the night out we had planned—alone.
I thought it was just a fight.
10 things that happen when you date your best friend
When I got back to Florida, I sent an apology text, expecting things would be fine. No response. I called; no response. Breaking up sucks. But losing your boyfriend and your best friend is a whole different level of heartache. Then one day, two years later, he spoke.
A few weeks after my engagement, flush with celebrations and congratulatory Facebook posts, he wished me a happy birthday. And I immediately called him. To my surprise he answered, and listened as I called him out on being a terrible friend, on ignoring me, on treating be like a bad breakup.
I had to accept the fact that I had rolled the dice, and lost my best friend. What I wish I knew when I started using birth control.
Is dating your best friend a good idea?
What I wish I knew before dating my best friend. Glenna Schubert Updated Oct 13, am. FB Tweet ellipsis More. Close this dialog window Share options. All rights reserved. Close this dialog window View image.