Deaf dating sites are popular among many in the deaf and hard of hearing communities. However, there are a lot of niche dating sites out there that it can be difficult to find the good ones.
Dating can be such a challenge! We hope it provides insight for teenagers just starting out in their dating experiences, and even those older people who are still putting themselves out there in the hope of finding a partner.
This blog was originally published on LinkedIn — Silent CEO Blog 24 — Someone asked me a question on dating as a deaf guy in a hearing world and republished here with permission.
7 amazing tips you need to know in deaf dating
Recently in a conversation with friends, I was asked about my experience of dating as a deaf person who uses his hearing devices. I must confess, I am currently at the time of writing this blog single. It is to be honest, like job searching, it is a hard game as the stakes are much higher for all parties involved than working.
I am not looking for sympathy through this particular blog, the purpose is to give one an honest insight of what challenges are experienced by adult working Australians with a hearing loss. For me, being single is not by choice.
I have had some great long term relationships but for some reason these relationships did not lead to a life partnership. I do confess that my competitiveness to succeed in my career and achieve to be the best in the sporting area may have deterred some women.
It is very easy for me or anyone to not blame my hearing loss, it should not be a factor in the dating game like my employment search? Should it? I have reflected on my dating experiences and I must confess that there were times when my hearing loss may have let me down or caused serious doubts in my dates to pursue the relationship further.
You could find me playing my sport hard, trying to win at all costs, then head to the bar to celebrate or commiserate the result. For me, these places were noisy and dark.
What i learned when i dated a deaf man
I lost count of the many times a girl would ask me a question by coming up to my ears and talking into it. Other times the girls and guys would be in groups. Being deaf, I can picture now the reason why I was not noticed or included because my face would come across so serious due to just trying to follow the conversation. Being a visual reader of people, I noticed the girls who were part of the group did not want anything to do with me.
Despite this, and being competitive, I would hang in there knowing if I did not stay and try it would al defeat on my behalf. Even with the modern technological advances of having hearing aids now having directional microphones does help a bit but one has to work it out, and adapt quickly to meet the challenges of the modern environment.
Naturally, like a jungle, what may have made it more challenging is that everyone seems to be out for themselves looking for their own perfect match.
You might read this as cruel and offensive, but to be honest when it happens many times, you just have to move on and not let it get to you. Like searching for a job, we have online search engines for a date. You can be sure there will be people thinking this is too hard and not worth finding out more about me. The fear of stigma still resonates on paper for many deaf Australians, all simply trying to find their way. When I do and these are mainly with women who may not have had a conversation with a deaf man before.
Being one who wants to impress, I would try and create dating situations that would make it comfortable for the female rather than worry about myself. I am of the thinking, that if they are giving me a go, I need to try harder to make them have a great time and feel appreciated.
Dating as a deaf guy in a hearing world
By doing this, looking back on this, I may have caused more harm than good. My subconscious checklist will be as follows:. The venue is right, and I get to the place only to find that the music is louder or the light has dimmed. One date I remembered meeting for the first time after getting her at bar with friends, the venue was perfect until the lights went down. I told her of the situation but she insisted that we stay and thrash it out.
At first these type of texts annoyed me, but as one gets older it became the norm, and I just moved on.
Deaf person dating hearing person
Another date insisted we head out to the beach and go for a swim. When we got to the beach, we settled down, had a chat and then we decided to swim. At that point I told my date that I have to take my hearing aids out and cannot hear at all, but lip read. We have watches etc. When we got into the water, I started talking she turned around and talked back, I lip read most of what she said. But when we got swimming, she started to get frustrated with me and left the water. I saw her heading back to her towel thinking she would be sun baking, so I kept swimming.
7 amazing tips you need to know in deaf dating
A few minutes later, I headed back to our spot to find she was gone and only my things there. I was mystified so I texted her to find out if everything was ok, only to receive a text back saying that I was rude and left her feeling unsafe and uncomfortable.
One example of many different types of feedback that I receive from different women.
Lately a big challenge I have found in dating, is in regards to money and security. My response is that I am a charity CEO. I make change for many Aussies, and work hard in my career. How can you hear at night? I feel uncomfortable with the fact that you may not hear from another room in the house. How are you going to help me on this? Yep these are real question on a dates.
I also get asked… Why have you not succeeded well so far compared to other men your age? What have you done wrong?
6 biggest misconceptions about dating someone who is deaf
Hard to believe but these are real questions from women that I meet. So what I have found is that the dating game is similar to my experience of finding employment. By now one can begin to understand why most deaf males like me, remain highly competitive and work maybe too hard to impress and succeed. It is a very hard habit to break down and in fact one that not many of us want to back down anyway. I still believe she will appear in my life and I will be taken out of the dating game.
At least for now, my blog may help others think differently when dating a deaf person, male or female.
Deaf twentysomething women get real about sex and dating
And for those who are deaf or hard of hearing take heart they are not alone in the tough arena of finding love. Dispelling Myths About Deaf Teenagers. Teenagers years old who are deaf or hard of hearing are eligible to participate in any of our workshops or programs. Check out our Life Goals and Skills courses here.
Dating As a Deaf Guy in a Hearing World Recently in a conversation with friends, I was asked about my experience of dating as a deaf person who uses his hearing devices. My subconscious checklist will be as follows: Is there enough light so I can see her face clearly?
Will I be in a position to be able to hear and lip read to get the conversations flowing?
5 tips for dating a deaf person
If there is a seat on the wall, will my directional mode in hearing aids work, while at the same time will she be comfortable? Here are some of our other blogs that might help teenagers gain confidence and self esteem. Stay Connected! Receive updates, news and events with our Newsletter. First Name. Last Name.