Dating a Latina or Latino is not like dating those from other races or cultures.
Hispanic men and dating
This is the first post in my series about dating Latinos and how it differs from dating North Americans. I have never been big on dating.
In some ways, I was lucky and often ended up with guy friends, thus skipping over the awkward dating phase. However, when my long-term relationship ended right before I moved to Argentina, my luck ran out. Not only was I back in the dating game after believing I would never have to date again — I was in Argentina.
Dating Latinos is different than dating Americans in many ways. In a simple sense, it is basically the belief and practice of excessive masculinity in Latino culture.
It can be as simple as men believing they should always pay and take care of their families, or it can be as extreme as treating women like second-class citizens. As a super independent American girl, I like to earn my own money, pay for my own things, voice my opinion, and basically do anything a man can do, should I so desire.
I am also not overly romantic, so being doted on is not really my thing most of the time. This did not work when dating in Argentina.
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Down the street from my apartment in Argentina, there was a video store where a cute guy worked. For months, this video store clerk would googly eye me, try to chat me up, etc — but he would never ask me out. Just when I was about to ask him, he finally found the courage.
On our first date, I teased him about taking so long and told him I had planned on asking him out the next time I came in. I am so very glad you did not do this. I also struggled with never being able to pay.
Learning from what video store guy had taught me, I found that offering to pay for my part of the meal or, God forbid, all of it, would be horribly insulting and uncomfortable for any guy taking me out. The arrival of the bill became a painfully awkward moment for me on every date.
At least reach for it slowly with a fake intent! I lived alone in the US and I moved to Argentina alone. I am a big girl. I walk alone, sometimes even in the hispanic dating rules. I do not need a man to protect me.
1. you date the whole family!
I know some of you girls are out there, facepalming at my inability to accept chivalry, but sometimes it was just irritating or weird. I also found that many guys would order for me at restaurants.
However, in Argentina, I had to try to remind myself that, sometimes, the guy actually thought he was being hispanic dating rules and taking care of me. Either way, the machismo style simply did not allow for me to get out of this kind of stuff very easily. Like I said, sometimes machismo was a simple thing that was actually quite sweet in its intentions while other times it was a flawed belief system that put women underneath men.
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Nice guys and jerks exist in every country and culture. Check out these other articles on Spanish.
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