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If your relationship has ended, you might be nervous about dipping your feet in the dating pool. Relationship and family therapist Terri Orbuch, Ph. For instance, in her year study of married couples, Orbuch found that 71 percent of divorced singles found love again.

My spouse is gone: will i ever find love again?

Also, love has very little to do with luck. She believes in working from the inside out. Before pursuing a new relationship, Orbuch stresses the importance of working on your own beliefs, emotions, behaviors and sense of self. She helps readers do just that in Finding Love Again, along with offering tips on everything from first dates to building a strong relationship. Find love again also can eat away at your happiness, according to Orbuch.

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Remember that no one is a mind reader. If you want or need something, Orbuch said, you have to ask for it. Remaining emotionally attached to the past prevents you from being fully present — and trusting someone else — and keeps you trapped in a cycle of negativity, she said.

Here are 7 things to keep in mind if you feel like you will never be with someone again.

Everyone has emotional baggage. For instance, in the book, Orbuch includes a helpful quiz with questions such as: Do you still keep photos of your ex, compare others to them or visit their social media sites?

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According to Orbuch, one way to become emotionally neutral is to release your emotions in healthy ways, such as engaging in physical activities and social events; volunteering; writing an honest letter to your ex that you never send ; and getting creative with activities such as painting, gardening and playing music. What also helps is to share your story with loved ones and seek their support, she said. Orbuch suggested making one small and simple change and committing to it for 21 days. In her study, she found that divorced find love again who cut their work hours by at least one hour a day were more likely to find love.

Changing your routine can open up new opportunities to meet people and even revise how you see yourself, according to Orbuch.

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Your past relationship probably shaped your personality and preferences in some way. You no doubt compromised, changed and accepted certain traits, she said.

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To find out who you are, define your key life values. What matters most to you? For instance, how important is faith, your job or your health?

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Do you trust each other? Do you share similar values?

Will i find love again? will i remarry or stay single after divorce?

Do you handle conflict effectively? Small annoyances add up — and can damage your relationship — so talk to your partner about what bothers you. But just a sweet phrase or small behavior can go a long way. You can learn more about Terri Orbuch, Ph.

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