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You does it seem like society is so against women over 50 being proactive in finding love? On-line dating for Seniors is very hard.

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Take good care of yourself

At a street festival in San Francisco, my BFF Ines and I ducked into a spot to listen to a blues band, snagging seats at the bar and ordering Camparis. I gave Ines a wink and excused myself to the restroomwhere I checked my phone for 20 minutes. When I emerged, Ines and the man were leaning toward each other, talking and laughing, just as I had predicted.

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Jazzfest guy was in his early 60s, leading Ines to exclaim, with delight, that she was a cradle robber. As Ines began dating Jazzfest dating at 70, she ran into challenges, including trying to reconcile her planning with his spontaneity—by Saturday morning when he called to make a plan for that evening, she already had tickets to the opera.

One time he forgot they had made plans for brunch and instead went golfing with his buddies.

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I paused to reflect on my dating experiences; all the times I had wanted a different type of relationship than my new match did, and the times I had left a date flushed with excitement only to later delete his after unreturned texts. Jazzfest guy decided he wanted to go steady and asked Ines to be his girlfriend, but Ines wanted companionship without ties.

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She liked having her place back to herself when he left in the morning. As Ines and I compared our experiences in dating—Ines with Jazzfest guy and other suitors, and me with various OkCupid and Bumble dates—we realized how remarkably similar they were, despite our year age difference.

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At both of our ages, we wanted help from each other to decrypt text messages and pick out date outfits. Like many good friends, we have seen each other through the enthusiasm of new flames and the sorrow of heartbreak.

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She broke out the chocolate, poured me a glass of champagne, and let me cry. She encouraged me to take time to enjoy being by myself, and I did, having her as my model. When I started dating again, she wrote me an about her relationship philosophy. The tumultuous type has the thrill of fights and make-ups, more competition, and plotting not for the good of us dating at 70 for the good of you. When I met my next boyfriend, Derek, it was smoother than other dating experiences, less full of uncertainty.

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After our first date, he sent me an emoji with heart eyes. After our second date, he deleted Bumble off his phone. A month later, I brought him home for Thanksgiving. One evening, several months into what was becoming a serious relationship, I texted Ines to tell her I missed her and felt bad we were not spending as much time together as we used to.

I am so happy for you.

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Ines and I want the best for each other in all things in life, including love. I remind her about the guy who asked for her at Whole Foods. She cracks up.

Dating a 70 year old man (building a future together)

Derek planned his proposal for my birthday party, at a salsa dancing spot on a lake. A week before, he texted a photo of the ring to Ines, who cried with joy.

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The photo of the proposal shows this: Derek down on one knee, me gasping with delight, and Ines directly in the background, cheering us on. Amanda is a writer based in Oakland, CA. Graphics by Coco Lashar. By Kiki O'Keeffe. By Nili Blanck.

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