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Highly sensitive people HSPs are deeply thoughtful, often creative individuals who feel things deeply. A biological difference in their nervous system means they literally do process information and ideas more deeply than others, which le to their greatest strengths and also their occasional vulnerability. about what it means to be a highly sensitive person. So what does an HSP need in order to trust and love their partner? Here are 12 secrets that real HSPs wish their partner knew.

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Your irrational behaviour probably stems from trauma — come to terms with that first, says Mariella Frostrup. The dilemma My friends think my behaviour is leading me in a vicious circle in my relationships.

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I can see their point. I am a man who is quite sensitive. I get relatively easily upset when women say hurtful things or ignore my contact, and I get very attached to partners.

Sensitive men are unpredictable but they might often come up with surprises.

In my most recent relationship I was ghosted. I tried to reinitiate contact. This was successful, but came at a high emotional cost for me.

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She then ghosted me again, perhaps because of me appearing clingy. The cycle is now happening for a third time.

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I wonder whether I should seek to emulate the self-confident man who would not be affected by such things or could move on easily. This may be more attractive to women and help me avoid situations like this.

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Is my only alternative continuing to behave in a way which is helping engender dysfunctional relationships? Mariella replies Your friends are right.

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You need to be young and naive to imagine that you can cajole people into caring, or mend those whose actions should instead encourage you to give them a wide berth. Back then, I realise now, having lost my father at an early age, I was desperately seeking someone to transfer the unbearable weight of my unreconciled emotions on to.

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Finding someone and depending entirely on them dating a sensitive guy survival is tolerable in a canine companion, but less so in our own species. Being valued and loved will always see a person bloom, but you need a base level of self-confidence. Or are you simply allowing your instinct for pursuit to run rampant until rejection is emphatic? You can push someone into giving you a job interview and convince people to try you out in all matter of practical and skill-related pursuits, but who wants to go down in history for having bullied their lover into dating them?

You no doubt see yourself as the victim in all this but, actually, looking from a different angle, you are stubbornly refusing to allow people the right to choose you.

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My advice is to step back from dating and work out why you are so dedicated to the pursuit of validation. If you have a dilemma, send a brief to mariella. Follow her on Twitter mariellaf1. Dear Mariella Relationships.

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Mariella Frostrup. Sun 24 Feb Topics Relationships Dear Mariella features. Reuse this content.